flooding light

Climbing out of the

Pulling myself from the glass of the ocean up the rough steel ladder I feel fresh. I am surprised by a flood of light pouring across the flat water, washing away the sticky darkness. – It is so sudden and so new. I realize the depth of the darkness I have been in for months and months and I’m suddenly back in a flood of light. I look down at my body; see the darkness melting off me, flowing down onto the pier and oozing between the cracks to drip into the water. As I stand still I feel myself becoming lighter. My skin feels clean for the first time in years. I breathe. I can breather cleanly, my lungs filling up with fresh air and I drink it in. It feels good to have air in my lungs anew. I focus my awareness on each breath. Slowly in, slowly out. So fresh. And each moment spreads out around me lasting a long time. I stand up tall breathe in and out the beautiful clean air. I feel so good. I feel so alive and so peaceful.

My sadness and longing is there, it draws me down the jetty towards the land. Do I know that I am not alive? No I do not. I am alive. I look at the shore pulling me to it. I see I do not know this place. I have swum the T Sea all the way from...- to be here, where am I?
A long journey years it has taken me and now I have washed up on the s shore here, a shore of flesh. For a second the darkness is again, the lashes come down, I am floating in the eye whose tears I am floating in closes briefly and briefly I am in the darkness again. I know he cannot see me. He does not know I am here with him. But he sees something in the eye of this woman, a space held strongly for him. She accepts, He sees she accepts, He sees her strength. I see her strength. I know she will hold me, hold me in her heart and in her mind. I see her eyes, she does not see me only sees his tears. She does not feel me fly to her in that second. She knows something has passed between him and her but she does not know that not only was it his understanding of her acceptance but also I that passed.
I am in her.
So long what a journey it has been. How long now? 00 years at least. So dark I have been so cold. She cannot know of my journey, she will know soon enough.
She knows only this now: she sees his pain and holds it. She opens herself so open at that moment. Enough for me. In her I will rest for now.
“I met this man this morning. I met mmm at - this morning. We talked about stuff for a while. He told me about . I looked into his eyes and felt a huge need for strength at that moment.
To be able to feel and hold the space of his pain.
I know nothing, what do I know of pain?”
“She was angry with me. I said it makes me human. My wholelife I have been so lucky